Ying Ying

Counting the days, you will be landing into Hong Kong with your brother in 2 more days.  We miss you, and you are always in our prayers.

I just finished reading the Qaf forms for tomorrow’s Hebrew quiz.  Quite exhausted really, but after a bath, I feel revitalized, and prayed for you and your family, then writing my thoughts  that linger in  my mind lately.

Life must be tough in your side.  Taking your brother back by plane is by no means an easy task.  The physical weakness, the luggage, the transportation, the admin, the relocation, and most bitterly the emotions of saying goodbye to the study land and re-orienting to the battle against sickness and fate.  It is too much a burden even for me to take.  

But you shouldered them.  I was pleased to note that you submitted your papers and reports due before you departed.  It takes extra determination, and extra hard work to keep the pace of study, given this hill-like burden on you and your family. So you will be getting your brother admittance to Shatin Wales Hospital and continue the treatment.   That’s a lot of progress you made. 

Oh, during our last visit to Tian Shui Wai Church, I met a lady who suffered from the same disease of your brother.  She just gone through the chemical treatment and surgery and still looks healthy.  She can still go to the church for worship.   She is  aware of the grace on her.  (She is a non-believer).   If we watch carefully, there is always grace around us.   Just hang in there.  Have faith.

I do have a few praying items and need the prayers of our fellow-students’ support too.

1)      My mother-in-law was in hospital twice in 2 weeks.   She is recovering now but still a non-believer.  I pray for her conviction, and for her health so that my wife and I can go on with our summer mission to Myanmar without the guilt of leaving her alone in HK.  She is 86+.

2)      I was torn between papers, my studying, and my passion for voluntary work.  Yet, I am re-affirmed daily God is renewing me through my extra-curriculum  activities.     I am praying for God’s guidance before I commit to volunteering work for the next two years in one of the 4 areas which I now am receiving training with my passion:  (1) Monthly Prison Visits, (2) Late Stage Cancer Patient Caring and Home Visits through Lazalo ministry, (3) Weekly Fellowship with SME owners through the Oaks, or (4)  ministry in the CGST Student Union.  I cannot do all of them, and need guidance from God to chart my ministerial direction.

I pray to God for his blessing and providence in shaping me through my co-working with him and for him during my two years of study in CGST.

I want to share this prayer need with you because I believe your prayers will be heard, just as much as your prayers are being listened as you support the needs of your family firmly these days.

We believe you are faithful.  We believe God is with you, and your prayers carry strength.

We look forward to welcoming you back to school.  If there is anything we can help, shout.

Augustine

20 March 2009

3-22-2009

人生第一次

今天是我人生禁食祈禱的第三天，也是我人生帶領音樂敬拜的第一次。

禁食是按霍士德(Foster) 提議，由簡入繁，由少入多，先從連續一周禁食早餐開始，視身體反應延長至12小時禁食，再操練連續24小時禁食。禁食時，渴慕神，尋求與神同在，以渴慕神，取替身體的飢餓軟弱，並祈求聖靈工作，為相識的癌症病人禁食清心祈禱。

身體的飢餓是可以克制的。情慾私心，也可以籍禁食而克制。不知是否與禁食祈禱有關，三天以來，更感到代禱中增加了對代禱者對象的身同感受的感覺，更關切他們目前的處境和心情。我感覺有聖靈的臨在。

無獨有偶，這三天的上課，都有被感動得落淚的時刻。

第一次是舊約導論科的雷牧師把以色列國放在歐亞非古時三大洲的地圖上，引導我們理解神為何揀選以色列人為選民? 為什麼神把迦南作為應許流奶與蜜之地? 為何要以色列由礦野入迦南? 由以畜牧業改為以農為業? 在貧乏受欺壓中認識神與他們所立之約? 在那一刹那，我突然感到從神創天造地，舊約以色列人的違約，新約，基督降生受苦，釘死後復活，整個救贖計劃，自己的悔改，重新得救，生命改變，再與上帝復和，繞了運數千年的大大一圈。在這大千世界中認識基督， 再找到自己，在歷史中遇見上帝，我流下禁食第一天的淚。

昨天當宣教科的詠欣老師把自唐、元、明、清歷代宣教士來華宣教以來，一幕一幕的歷史圖片,特別提到馬禮遜曾為宣教緣故，加入賣鴉片的東印度公司為翻譯,使宣教成為帝國主義經濟及文化侵略留下污點，造成中國抗拒福音的理由和籍口。她提醒我們這一代的宣教士，不要不顧當地本色文化，好心做壞事，做成後人反對福音，反對文化侵略的理由。

驟然間，我腦子一片空白，曾經熱血要為中國福音工作獻上生命，如今我要再沈思，我熱血想做的，是否會阻碍神，絆倒教會？ 我再次難忍激動，熱流盈眶。

今晚是上帶領音樂敬拜的實習課，是我在中神以外的興趣學習，為要學習全方位牧養，為未來牧職準備。我選擇了曾令我感動的＂陶造我生命＂作為音樂敬拜組曲中贊美、敬拜、認罪、委身的第四部份回應曲。我們敬拜隊是來自不同教會同學，平均無時間練習，亦只是在課前忽忽配合一次，便即要在班上帶領，作實習演出。

老師吉中鳴牧師教導說：＂敬拜帶領者的角式是帶領會眾進入神同在。＂為此我在敬拜開始前，曾與隊員一起及個人作靜默祈禱。

我帶領的部份終於到了。

當音樂響起，我引導會眾說：＂神啊，求你陶造我。開我們的眼睛、使我們聽到你的聲音、。向我們展示你的恩美意。觸摸我們，扶持我們，成為你合用的器皿。神啊，願你來陶造我。＂

當我說到觸摸我們這一句，我聲咽了，會眾也感覺到。在這時，聖靈進入。之後所說的是來自聖靈，有一股我前所未有的感動和震攝能力。

在唱完弟一節，我提議大家一齊低頭祈禱，在音樂的背境支持下，我沒有跟隨原稿，受感動地說：＂今天我們聚集在神面前。因為我們都深受神恩典。為此我們獻上感恩。在我們人生低谷之時，是你親手撫慰；在我們失喪之時，是你的微聲細語安慰。（會眾中傳出飲泣聲。）在日出時，是你的陽光使我們精神充佩；在黑夜裡，是你使我們的影子陪伴我們走出幽谷。在工作時，是你支持我們：在睡覺時，是你在那遠處默默看顧憐惜。神啊，我們求更能像你，心內柔和謙卑，憑熱愛熱誠，感染萬千生命，彰顯你美善靈性。這時請我們仍然低頭，用１，２分種，向神呼求，接受陶造，在神前立志。＂在重唱之後，我們在慢語和聲中。結束我的第一次帶領敬拜。

事後我發現，以上每一句都是我心底的真話，也是親身的經歷，在聖靈感動下，由衷的說出。

聖靈感動了我，也感動了會眾，見証了我的第一次。

志堅

3-12-2009