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11月24日 疾病原是祝福 - 我的見証疾病原是祝福 - 我的見証 周志堅 11/24/2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
有不少朋友在未信耶穌之前都會問過一個問題，神在那裡? 衪讓我見到祂，我就會信。
我教會劉少康牧師曾用以下一個比喻回應這問題: “你去過效外嗎? 見到小鳥嗎? 沒有見到就沒有小鳥嗎? 只是你沒看見罷了! 沒有心去看，沒有受過訓練去看，是不會看到的!”
我今天又看見神，就在我生病患上眼疾的時候。原來疾病也是祂的祝福。
事情是這樣的…
上週五上午，我如常在家看著電腦做學校報告，突然右眼出現一條黑色線，隨著眼球飛動。我起以為是眼鏡片有黑點，連忙去洗眼鏡，終於才發現是眼睛出現了問題。
我深信如非神容許不會發生，可能是近日太忙，太多時間做電腦所致。當晚我趕緊早睡，希望睡醒時黑線會消失。
次日是週末，天氣很冷。實習教會約好去探訪一個照顧嚴重殘疾人士的宣教工場。這工場在上水古洞，我必須駕車前去。
一路黑影不停在在眼出現。我真的開始擔心，知道這不是眼睛疲勞，我正在失去了視力了。是因為我「太博」嗎? 長期勞累嗎? 是糖尿病上眼嗎?
我早有心理準備。最近連串發生在我周圍同學朋友的危疾都在提醒我，屬靈的操練是要我們在危難中看見上帝的恩慈信實作為，仍能夠由衷地贊美衪。我知道這事終於會臨到我身上的。難道是今天?
我一邊開車，一邊心裡禱告：上帝，我己屬祢，如要取去，請取去。請讓我能讚美祢。
在大清早寒冷天氣去探訪一家照顧嚴重殘疾人士的宣教工場，這是什麼道理? 實習教會和功課我己吃不消了! 神呀！這是什麼道理? 可否讓我歇息? 我很累了! 眼晴也吃不消了! 這就是聖經說的背上十字架來跟隨祢嗎?
這時心裡浮現出一個念頭: “這是分享生命”。 別人的生命在分享給我，我也在分享我的生命給他人。今天是一顆眼睛。我對心裡說: “來吧! 此生非我有，分就分吧!”
探訪是讓人感動的。本以為是去祝福這工場，關心這工場宣教士所收養的嚴重殘疾孩子，結果反倒由工場發動了不少義工，照顧我們飲食。總結時，我向同行及牧師報告我的眼疾和今早的掙紮。他們為我祈禱。牧師更即時為我介紹了一位眼科醫生，約好週一看病。
周日崇拜事奉，我的眼睛沒有好轉，我也很平安，深知衪在掌管。
週一終於見到樊醫生。他檢查後告訴是我的視網膜老化穿了一個洞，這是深近視人常見現象，與過勞或糖尿無關，但我需要立刻接受一個鐳射縫補視網膜手術，如有保險，在醫院做要過一夜，收費 12,000元。我呆了一呆。他說要趕緊做，否則容易視網膜脫落，這可是致盲的病。他問我怎麼認識徐牧師。我告訴他我是神學生，在方舟實習。
他給我一封斷診信，著我查巧現有保障內容，如非因保險公司要求，可以不住院做此手朮，他一般收費6000元。見我臉上愁色，他安慰說:” 放心！我會給神學生優惠的。”
我還是患得患失。幸好我不用失明，但我沒有買醫療保險，這開支讓我擔心。
離開醫務所時，姑娘交了一張覆診卡和一封信，轉達醫生提醒，早日做手術。我問姑娘:” 今次收費多少?” 姑娘說:” 醫生不收費。” 我好像聽錯了，再問姑娘: ” 今次收費多少?” 姑娘再說:” 醫生不收費。”
拿了這信，離開醫務所，我眼中有了淚。以前的我從不靠人，自己靠自己。今天我再次經歷神的供應，神的恩典。
不是這診金的問題，而是從發病到此刻，一切在神掌管和預備中，要我經歷衪，明白生命分享，願意分享，接受分享，然後由牧師介紹醫生約見、斷症，安排治療，因神學生緣故不收診金，特惠做手術，一切盡在神安排中。
如果這眼疾是深近視眼晴老化必然的結果，我慶幸這發生在我讀神學的這三年內，讓我及早發現及治療，也讓我知道，一切皆祂的恩典。衪的恩典，足夠我用。
手術日期定在今天上午。我坦然把一切交在天父及醫生手裡。因為疾病原是上帝的祝福，讓我及早發現，及早處理，仰望衪，依靠衪。
周志堅 11/24/2009
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朋友同学的祝福代禱
志堅,
面對苦難, 旁人真的不能夠為你說甚麼、做甚麼, 我極其只可以為你的眼疾代禱、紀念, 求神的祝福和帥領。但我確信神是聽禱告的神, 祂必然會為你預備最好的安排。更感恩的是, 我聽到一個經掙扎後, 生出的老練和忍耐, 因著堅信神的祝福、帶領, 你全然交托, 以致能看到及經歷神的預備。
多謝弟兄的分享, 與你同上路的感受與獲益也良多!
主內B --------------------
Dear Augustine
您的情況令我想起近年困擾自己的眼痛等視力問題, 閒時唯有多飲菊花杞子水, 希望有少許幫助。 祝早日康復! 加油!!
Best wishes Eleanor -------------------------------------- 志堅,
謝謝你真情的分享，我們必定為你的身體禱告的！做完手術後，要update你的情況啊。
Take care!
In Christ, Fu ----------------------------------------- Don’t worry about this homework. I can just exempt it for you. Rest well and get healed soon!
Professor Ng Wai Yee -------------------------------------------------- 志堅,
為你感恩, 亦為你求恩!!
Maisy ----------------------------------------------------- Dear Augustine,
Hope you can quiet down to observe and experience God's love and grace. Take care.
Yuet Lar --------------------------------------------------- 志堅, ---------------------------------- 志堅： ----------------------------------------- 志堅, 為你的生命和神的恩典感恩. --------------------------------------------- 很好的分享,為您禱告! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 主內志堅:
謝謝你的分享.
為你感恩為你代禱為你祈福, 耶和華全能 神與你及家人同在.
激光手術中 父神全然眷佑保護醫治你.
弱肢 蓉蓉 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Augustine,
被你的真誠分享所感動! 這真是一個令人又愛又恨的與神恩典的相遇。
為你禱告!
Arnold -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 志堅︰ 感謝主開你屬靈的眼睛，盼望你早日康復！為你禱告！ 昌 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Thanks for your sharing, 志堅, we're with you!!! May you taste the sweetness of His presence in all of this =]
Seeyin ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 志堅為著你所經歷的一切感恩，求主的醫治臨在你的身上，使你經過手術後儘快恢復視力，從新投入正常的生活！
主恩常在
Andrew --------------------------------------- 志堅: 為你感恩.再次提醒我們神是信實的. 也為你祈禱.
IDA -------------------------------------------- 感謝你的分享, 神的眷顧真是奇妙！為你的手術代禱, 願你繼續經歷祂的恩典與醫治！ -------------------------------------------------------- 志堅同學,
為你禱告呀，希望你日早日痊癒，為我們繼續影相，Stand with you!
In Him, Kenny & Bee ----------------------------------------------------------- Augustine, How is your eye now? God has prepared a nice ophthalmologist for you. Wonderful!
With prayer, Tin Wan 志堅,
Cheukman -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 志堅,
多謝你的分享。我祈願你早日康復，相信你將來尚有很多上帝同在的經歷，還要與人分享，要保重。 世良 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Augustine, 志堅， ------------------------------------------------------- Dear Augustine, We only need to rely on God, he will carry us thru. I will uphold you in my prayers. With blessing, Pastor Lau ------------------------------------------------------- Dear Augustine, Sorry to hear that you had the eye problem, but I can see your great faith in God and am so grateful everything is well arranged and provided by God. When you are faithful to God, God will time His deliverance to you. Remember God is the One who are in charge of everything.
Don’t worry, you must be alright!
God bless, Michelle ------------------------------------------------------- 志堅:好多謝你的分享, 更感謝神的大恩, 你要好好保重身子啊, 前面的路仍漫長! Janice ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Augustine, -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Augustine,
Alleluia！Praise to the Lord that you have seen the Grace from Him to you!
基督教是信息傳遞的宗教信仰。信仰裏的信息中的核心信息莫過於是：基督的代贖。從過去的「自我掌控」地生活到「完全仰賴」上主地生活。我們都認定今世是「短暫」寄居之地，是「預備」好自己進入永恆與主一起的天國永樂之中。父神在每個人的今世中精心舖砌他們的人生塲境。為要考驗我們對衪的信心和對人的愛心。正如經上說：[羅 8:28] 我們深信臨到我們身上的事，必然於「我」有益、「別人」有益、「大家」有益，每個人都要尋索這「益處」，「看」到了的必領悟到父神奇妙的作為。然後，讚嘆衪的智慧和能力！就如被賣去埃及的約瑟一樣，他「看到」父神怎樣使用他的人生。今日，父神在我們的今世「生命使用」上都有不同的計劃和目的，我們內心的信心是否足夠到「喜樂」地領受？我時常勉勵自己的人生觀是：順天命、服神旨，順逆皆好！
May the Lord bless you having enough rest on your eyes until recovery!
In Christ Sukhar --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi Augustine,
Thanks for your sharing! I’m glad you are willing to submit to God in this incident and let Him guide your way. You know, that’s exactly the same message I got throughout the year. God re-stated it again to all of us through the Global Leadership Summit last month and I summarized the message I received below:
- Submit to God on EVERY little thing - God doesn’t really need us, He just wants us to follow His instruction everyday - Focus on our mission and we have ONLY one mission: 傳揚福音 - Be a 忠心的管家
I’m glad you do achieve the above and trust God will always offer you the best. Hope you can keep on your mission and 為主多得一人! =)
Recover soon and Hope Choir is waiting for you! =)
IC, Kathy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear 志堅
God's peace be with you through the operation ... and wish you a speedy recovery.
I am touched by the faith and devotion in you, thank you for giving me a good lesson and as you said, it is always a blessing particular when we are sharing.
Susanna -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Augustine,
Praise be to the Lord who does marvelous works – things that are impossible in the wisdom of man.
How is your eye after the operation? When will you be able to remove the cover of the eye?
May God give you the strength to overcome the difficulties in your studies. God be with you.
IC, Manfai ----------------------------------------------------------
Yes, it is always amazing and thanksgiving when we experience God’s protection and providence. However, usually it happens when we are in crisis, and we are willing to let God works. This reminds me 2 years ago when Jeannie was sick, God help us through the support of you guys, especially Peter & Caroline, like angels around us. Millions of thanks.
Thanks Alan sharing Augustine’s witness with us. We will keep praying for the recovery of Augustine, and also his study and serving. Moreover, he is attending HK Baptist Church, Pastor Lau was also our pastor in HK for 14 years, who witness our wedding 28 years ago.
Michael ----------------------------------------------------------- Agree with Michael that people, both believers and unbelievers, will turn closer to God in time of crisis and suffering. It is gratifying that Augustine has so many borhers and sisters around to assist and pray for him. Will pray that he will recover well.
peter au --------------------------------------------------------------
No doubt God's providence and grace will always prevail even though we cannot foresee the future, and we will pray for Augustine's ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Shalom Chi Kin, ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Shalom Chi Kin,
Pleased to learn from you over phone shortly after the surgery that you were well-blessed in the healing hands of our Almighty God through His faithful/chosen surgeon. May our Lord bless you a speedy recovery and empower you with His abundant blessings in your theology study/church practice. Amen. In God we trust, amy Shalom Chi Kin, Pleased to learn from you over phone shortly after the surgery that you were well-blessed in the healing hands of our Almighty God through His faithful/chosen surgeon. May our Lord bless you a speedy recovery and empower you with His abundant blessings in your theology study/church practice. Amen. In God we trust, amy 11月14日 不配的塵土後記 - 與主內肢體的電郵交往
11/13/2009 主內志堅:
拜讀你的見證時內裡掀起一陣陣疼痛, 與你的心歷路程產生共鳴; 當下瞭解到我為你抱屈的同時卻也顯示出自己未能與 主同釘十字架(己尚未死). 感謝 主基督在我心中汎起”心的割禮”(Let Go!) 一書中第二封信(如何安然承受苦難) 與第四封信(己的死), 因以稍釋懷也更清晰為你及你家人代禱的方向.
志堅: 我們一生可能因己亦或因人更或為 主基督受盡諸多苦處(正式進入事奉工場可能情況更嚴峻), 不知是否 主神對你寵愛有嘉故已預先裝備並準備你為 祂終久不移的”志堅”事奉. 神為你有完整並完美的計劃。
你是 父神手中一副尚未完成的畫; 尚待琢磨的精品. 我持續代禱也拭目以待. 祝福你與全家.
弱肢 主門肢體某某 -------------------------------------------------------------------- 11/14/2009
某某
謝謝你親切的回應和關心。
打從三福學習開始，你会察覺到「自義」一直是我自己未曾察覺的罪。你提醒我學習謙卑，是我離罪，轉向神的人生轉捩点。
「謙卑, 己身巳死，与基督同釘十架」，說起來容易, 做起來原來是很難的。我抱著學習謙卑的心去緬甸宣教，倒頭來仍發現自己不斷跌倒，自義傷害人而不知道。
但神的管教從未停止。今次藉宣教同工的批評提醒，又再一次是神的「恩典和教導」。
神真的很奇妙。我蒙召的地方，亞公角山突破青年村的神山，竟是我教會實習的工場。而在這裡的方舟教會是一个傷健一同的教會，我在這裡實習，神要我學習服事肢體殘障的弟兄，推輪椅、餵飯、協助如廁、探病、喪葬禮儀，灵性牧養的工作我都要做，神使我認識卑微，成為貧弱，放下專長去學習服事他們，體驗基督之愛，及神在肢體殘障的弟兄的神跡大能。
我最近有此體會：「自己要学謙卑」這命題是錯了。因為當我這樣想，我仍然未有放下自己有所專、有所恃的心態，依然心存優越感。但透過無力事奉服事這一群上帝深愛的肢體殘障的弟兄，我終於發現自己本為塵土，本能貧弱，本相卑微，根本不存在「學習謙卑」的問題。這醒覺真的能帮助我體察基督自甘卑微，取僕人形像，順服至死的心腸。
我實在感到神愛我无微不至，弟兄姊妹為我代禱代求，亦是我生命得以不斷更新蒙恩的主因。你送我「心的割礼」教導仍存心內。
我不是「神手中的圖畫，尚待琢磨的精品」，我只是不配的塵土。如非有神恩典，斷不能悔改蒙福。你以前三福舉証，說自己是不配的乞丐，我現在真有同感。
謝謝你一直以來的鼓勵和代禱，我真的很需要你禱告的支持，求神保守鑑察。
一些近日方舟救會事奉實習圖片在此, 有空來看看。 http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=116976&id=704486800&ref=nf
志堅 11/14/2009
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11/15/2009
主內志堅:
不知你今早是否返堅浸參加了感恩慶典崇拜呢?
當劉牧師證道至第iii部份 - 藉一起服侍榮耀 神: 1. 是一個委身 2. 是一個立志 3. 是一個犧牲 (聽道至此倏地你的名字及面容在我腦海/思維中浮現) (1) 甘心樂意 (2) 付上代價 要為弟兄捨命(約一3:16) (3) 持之以恆 全力以赴 (提後1:11-14)
我仍記得你曾分享自喻為一頭驢駒子; 而今則自覺是不配的塵土, 對於你的領受我不敢也不配否定, 但你我都不能否決以上兩者均在 耶和華神的旨意中; 或乘載和平之君或成為無所不載的大地均歸屬 神 且是謙恭卑下有容乃大的圖像. 志堅, 誠然你在短宣中因服侍受苦了也受傷了, 我相信 深愛你的 主基督 亦必因你的受苦/受傷而苦傷尤甚於你(你既為人父定有此經歷), 聖經教導要我們認定”受苦是有益的”, 個中的經歷或是益發認識自己本像或是更認識信仰或使你我與 父神關係倍增親密, 或使你我對 神有迫切的 仰望需求, 又或許你的受苦傷使他人受益成為他人的幫助與安慰(我甚至於假想批評你的那位或許因此靈命/ 靈程得益; 綜觀教會歷史最興旺與最受逼迫成正比. 是的, 知易行難, 但擁有”痛而不苦”的人生是你我可以 選擇的, 你我信徒們若靠着 神願意跟 主腳蹤隨聖經教導定能享受一個痛而不苦 殘而不廢如Nick vujicic般 璀璨的豐盛人生吧. 我持續為你成為小基督榮神益人的一生代禱.
主門肢體某某
11月12日 宣教中「保羅的刺」我宣教結束，離開工場前得到督導牧師非常正面的反饋意見，正當以為自己的宣教事奉己蒙神悅納之際，但離開工場后不久他亦寄來一位宣教當地同工一些負面的書面批評。為此我曾耿耿於怀，經向差會及負責宣教科目老師如實報告后，我求見輔導牧師，以下是輔導后的個人反醒，及之后两周不斷祈禱，求神賜答案的經歷和見証；
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10/30/2009
昨日我終於和我的輔導牧師談了一個小時，處理暑宣留下的刺。
長話短說, 是暑宣回來后一位同工的書面批評當時傷害了我。她是一位28歲美國籍的宣教士組長，在我認為為主做得盡心盡性盡意盡力的宣教事奉中，被指在學習態度方面得了一個不聆聽，不觀察，不順服，不在意明白當地傳統、立場、限制的而太著重個人創意主張的不及格負面批評。我一直耿耿於怀。這離開工場后的書面批評，令我怨她在工場內不坦誠，讓我不能翻案，毋從辯白，心裡受屈，影響了對宣教見証的熱忱，一段時間覺得盡心盡性盡意盡力宣教无价值，一些為緬甸籌款的事慢下來，熱情有冷卻，想到宣教心裡就痛。我曾以這是上帝要在我緬甸宣教本來完美的事上，留下的「保羅的刺」，去理解這位同工的批評，但心裡難捨哀傷受屈之感。与玉华, 詠恩老師商談，再見輔導牧師，是我正面處理此刺的過程。
以下向大家分享輔導牧師輔導後之反思: 上帝給我的暑宣功課仍未完結，學習仍未劃上句号。
與輔導談宣教的剌的反省 1. 為什麼會被剌痛？ 2. 為什麼會視之為刺而未能釋懷？
反省發現
1. 我視宣教事為完美，不想留有永恆的污點。 2. 我視宣教為餘生事奉的預演，極不願死而含屈，未有機會申辯對話。 3. 我視之為刺仍然有痛。仍視之為保羅「帶刺的提醒」，是否潛意識中仍未有信心克服自己募進，傷害了人仍不自知的毛病？ 4. 神在我宣教事上的學習仍未完全，仍未能劃上句號，直至我能領受處理這根 「刺」。
更深層反醒
1. 如果我的餘生仍因為福音及神的榮耀緣故被屈，被誤解，無法申辯，我仍會介懷嗎？ 2. 如果臨終前，仍感到神對我畢生的事奉和榮耀衪的使命的完成不滿意，我仍能接受嗎？ 3. 我為何如此在意此人的批評？神是否嘉許？ 4. 我如何知道自己行事為人是否合神心意，蒙神喜悅？ 我需要祈禱求問神，請祂賜下答案！ 上帝留給我的以下問題，目前我仍未能回答。但我願意公開內心掙扎，請大家在禱告中記念，幫助，支持我尋求答案。
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2009/11/12 再与輔導牧師見面，報告两周以來的反省:
自上次輔導反醒后，神給我的啓示和各師友引領幫助，讓我找出問題的答案，給宣教認識到「保羅的刺」劃上句號，引領我走一段事奉人生的新道路。願給上帝作美好見証，將榮耀頌贊歸給上帝。
(A) 两周以來神的啟示與教導
1. 神藉研讀神科基督論，提醒我「道成肉身」的基督受罪的試探，在事奉高峰期面對罪的攻擊，受屈辱，無罪卻為罪而死; 2. 方舟教會事奉中，體會到自己本相貧弱，如曾有為「獅子」感覺实属恩典，消除自己入神學院之時性格測試，有如「獅子入羊群」的委屈的根源性感覺; 3. 詠恩老師來電邮提醒為何有委屈的感覺，醒覺到委屈的感覺是自義的罪的攻擊; 4. 為講道內容查经，神帶我到所羅門的聖殿落成禱文，追索神與大衛之約乃建聖殿緣由，提醒神是守約施慈愛的神，醒覚回到蒙召與神立約為回答自己問題的關鍵; 5. 神領我到哥林多前書 6:7: <你們彼此告狀，這已經是你們的大錯了。為什麼不情願受欺呢？為什麼不情願吃虧呢？>
(B) 醒覺與認識
1. 醒覚自義之罪，自以為為主做了許多 2. 醒覺這是完美上帝之即時審判，記錄了自己曾使人受傷害的罪 3. 醒覺基督在人生高峰，凱旋進城時受試探和罪的攻擊。對別人批評有屈辱感是罪的攻擊 4. 認識到自已在宣教的「保羅的刺」這功課有二：
A. 醒覺離罪，放下屈辱感，定睛在基督受大屈辱，罪的攻擊，體會道成肉身意義，更像基督 B. 處理自己余生價值觀，就是回到所羅門建殿禱告，追索與神立約，守約施慈愛的主， 只看自己是否忠於與神所立之約， 不是看重自已，不計較付出回報， 不求滿意，只求恩典，生命不斷更新跨越。這樣才可以「以神為樂」。
(C) 回顧這過程的幾個重要階段：
A. 認識：認識這刺是罪的記號，神的審判， B. 接受：接受身處事奉高峰時容易自義的試探 C. 依靠：依靠神的管教啟示， 戰胜罪的試罪，在神面前認罪悔改 D. 醒覚：終生要做的是履行神的約，這是喜悅的泉源 E. 享受：享受謙卑順服忠心，神的供應完全，自卑卻升為高，軟弱而靠神得勝，一個神僕的喜悅 F. 恩典 : 人能事奉己是恩典，若有不足批評也不必介怀，免於自義的試探 G. 力量：從神的親密同行，回應禱告，聖靈提醒得知自己行在神心意之中，由此得力量。
(D) 回應上两周問題
1. 如果我的餘生仍因為福音及神的榮耀緣故被屈，被誤解，無法申辯，我會介懷嗎？ 不再重要，成為主僕，守約盡忠，已是恩典。
2. 如果臨終前，仍感到神對我畢生的事奉和榮耀衪的使命的完成不滿意，我能接受嗎？ 不求滿意，只求忠於召命，順服忠心，享受與神同行之甜蜜。
3. 我為何如此在意人的批評？神是否嘉許？ 這是罪的試探。是自己不明白亦不肯面對神審判。
4. 我如何知道自己的行事為人合神心意，蒙神喜悅？ 只求盡忠，以神為樂，享受與神同行之關係。如蒙福份，知神聽禱告，賜下啟示提醒，更確知神喜悅。
(E) 總結 宣教同工的負面批評不是「保羅的刺」，乃是「神的恩典教導」，提醒我一切皆神的恩典，引領我定睛看基督「道成肉身」的大愛，敦促我回歸到神的召命，神的揀選与我立約，享受与神同行的功課。 11月6日 耶利米書1：1-10默想耶利米書1：1-10默想
神是否呼召我作先知 - 以西結書學習 - 神的話腷到緬甸事工反省 - 實習教會一針見血的毛病 - 苦艱功課的總結 - 自己宣教未完的功課 - 為回教興起禱告 - 認識亞摩司書世人的罪與金融海嘯關係 - 參加小型教會與向大眾宣講神的話 - 被神拔出、拆毀、毀壞、傾覆、建立
與同學討論 - 有一針見血的能力 - 但未知是否為神所用的恩賜 - 仍在學是否神的道，神的話臨到自己身上 - 是否講，何時講，如何講，憐憫愛心的講 - 仍未被神差遣作先知，毋須自命先知
神必有預備 - 神的道會臨到自己將要講的話給自己 - 自已是神在母腹中為別人預備的禮物，成為別人的銅牆鐵壁 - 會被上帝觸摸更新
Augustine 11/6/2009 10月29日 体察上帝的心我越來越能体察上帝將自己、家人、親友患病、離世、哀傷、盼望、依靠的經歷放在 我們及我們的神學經歷的作用。
首先是學習操練憐憫的心，經歷身同感受的痛。
其次是學祈禱，學習放膽向主傾訴，然後經歷祂的慈愛實在。
再其次是學習面對人生苦難的神學基礎，找緊神給我們的份，和聖經對人在苦難中 的應許，產生堅強,忍耐，盼望。
這一切的經歷操為要我們學習捨己，接受並經歷一個與我們一同受苦,但可能選擇沈 默,自甘自限的上帝。
因此我們將來能安慰人，為別人代禱代求。
為同學們的經歷，我們一同悲痛；為同學們的經歷，我們一同感恩!
誰要我們這一生所行的是什麼呢？豈不是彌迦書6：8的教訓麼!
既與上帝同行，一切經歷，豈不感恩敬拜？
志堅 10-28=2009 10月12日 A BEAUTIFUL PRAYERA BEAUTIFUL PRAYER 10月5日 12 Lessons Learnt from Myanmar Mission12 LIFE LESSONS LEARNT from Myanmar Mission (6.19-8.21.2009)
Lesson One: Learn to Walk in Love with Jesus and with the family: During my preparation of the mission, I was very pushy, repeatedly asking my spouse to seek no-pay leave from her employer so that she could join a one week mission with my to Myanmar. From Dec 2008 to March 2009, Hong Kong was under economic downturn, with massive layoff. My wife did not dare to seek the one week no pay leave. I kept pushing her, and up to a point, we had a little family quarrel. God saved me from further mistake. Through prayer meeting, the school teacher and the classmates reminded that if the family was not ready, I should consider staying with my family in Hong Kong for a local city mission instead. After praying, I expressed my willingness to give up my desire to go for an overseas mission. She answered, “It was too late. Her boss had agreed to grant me the exception. But it was good to hear that you can give up your desire for me.” When my spouse arrived at Myanmar, we listened to the witnesses by some foreign missionary families in Myanmar and discussed on our own family concern to become a missionary family in the future, and. Several key ideas firmed up in our minds: 1) If it is the Lord’s wish to raise my family as a missionary family, He will not just call me alone. He will call my family, my spouse, and settle all the concerns we might have. We just need to patiently wait for his calling. 2) God gave me these helpers in my family, my wife, my daughters, and my son are all Christians now. I will never walk alone in my ministry to God. Lesson Two: Being, and not Doing: God answered my query about the value of a missionary, who struggles so much and can do so little in a foreign country. Is it worth it? The value of a missionary is in his or her being obedient to God’s commands and giving glory to God by his living Christ-like testimonies. God does not need us to do great things for Him. Before us, He planted the churches. After us, He will raise church leaders and pastors to feed the sheep. Our role as missionary is just to give life testimony and it is our honor to share a piece of His work. Lesson Three: His Works, His Creation: Despite Myanmar being a Buddhist country, God planted many churches, and raised my servants for Him in the past two hundred years. God led me to the St Mary Church, St Andrew Church, Emmanuel Baptist Church of the Chinese, St Augustine Church, as well as those newly planted local churches, and witness his providence, his works, and his creation. We should not over-value our work and our sacrifices, as they are not true. Before us, and after us, God is in control. Lesson Four: Learn to Live a God-centered Life: The Myanmar mission experience opened my eyes to what is meant by a God-centered life. We spent hours in prayers, and bible study, sharing, worship before we start our ministries every day, and after we close our ministries every day. In Hong Kong, we are so busy living a self-centered life, doing things that are important to us, and not to God. We only spent couple of minutes in praying, and only worship God on Sunday church services. But here, we spent hours in praying, in person reflection, in solitude, in worshiping God, in singing, in bible studies, in sharing every week. Our family seldom pray as a family. I wish I could keep this habit when I return to Hong Kong, and give God the best of my time, and give Him the number one priority in life. Lesson Five: Be guided by the Holy Spirit: I prayed that I would be guided by the Holy Spirit. The Spirit asked me to take an exercise to pray for 100 Myanmar friends I met, to inquiry about the needs of the Agape Orphanage and to raise USD2500 for their needs, to write a case study of OM Myanmar by interviewing the Go Chin’s family. (This later was said by Go Chin as an act of God to remind them about the grace they had experienced in their lives.) I learnt how to experience the guidance of the Holy Spirit in preaching, two times in God of Grace Church, and in telling kids stories, leading kids games. Lesson Six: Learn Self-Control and a Missionary Life: Each week, OM Myanmar gave me some money for the apartment expenses, and my personal expenses. We had a budget of K3000 (HK$20) a day for our food, which is barely enough. I learnt how to best use of my pocket in only my basic needs, and to struggle from my desires. I was over-budgets in the first few weeks, but learnt to stay within my budget in later weeks. In my last week, the Spirit moved me to buy a children electronic piano for their kids ministries, and I spent half of my weekly money for that, and then, I skipped my meals, saved, and controlled my spending and managed to stay within the budget even with my offering of the piano. Lesson Seven: Dependent On God, Entirely: I brought 35 kilos of luggage to Myanmar, trying to prepare for every situation I knew. I brought a backup battery for computer, a mosquito net, lots of anti-mosquito medicines, many gifts for kids, some English books for the school. None of them was needed in Myanmar. I was provided with a large apartment with gas, air-conditioner and a mosquito net, a library in OM Myanmar with comprehensive bible commentary books. I brought the battery but forgot to bring the cable, that the battery is not usable during the whole mission. Instead of relying on my own supplies, I learnt to rely on God for daily supplies and daily living, for his supplies of electricity, water, wisdom in my ministries, to teach kids a song, lead a game, do some crafts, I depended on Him. My life became so relaxed and so enjoyable when I depend on Him. Lesson Eight: He is Wondrous and Humorous: He is not just graceful, but wondrous. He not only gives, but also surprises you for his providence. I was able to read bible commentaries while I was studying the bible play. I even had a game of golf in Myanmar on a day off. He is humorous, too. The Spirit led me to read ACTS 8:1-5 on the first day of my arrival to Yangon. It is about the martyr of Stephen and every Christian in the early church had to go to Samarian as missionary. They preach gospel there. He gave me these verses for my first sermon in life. When I was preparing for the sermon, God led me to an old electronic testimony file on my PC about Eric Liddell, the Olympic 400M race Gold Medal holder. Immediately after his Olympic games, he went to China as a missionary in an international school. That morning when I was on the road to the church, I suddenly realized that the content that I prepared for my first sermon in life was really the words from God to me, “Go and preach the gospel, in China, like Eric Liddell.” Lesson Nine: Pastoral Caring: In Myanmar, I had the opportunities working very closely for the first time in my life with the pastors and ministers. I began to realize the demand and expectations of from the church members on their pastors and ministers, and how they had to be always alert and ready to minister the members in different occasions and for different needs. I had also closely watched the pastoral caring duties from the leaders of the Emanuel Baptist Church, and witness the efforts to re-vitalize the 120 years old church. T thanked God for this previous opportunity. Lesson Ten: Learning Humility: As requested from my prayers for learning humility, God gave me many occasions to confront with my desire for recognition, for respects to my suggestion by the team, for my understanding and interpretation of the bible, and for acknowledgement of my efforts in ministries. In each of the occasion, the Holy Spirit reminded me that such desires were from the evil. I must question myself that my eagerness and my initiatives to serve God, did not derive from the ego to prove my values to God or to my teammates. God really taught me. From their feedback I collected, I became aware that sometimes I was frank, impatient and direct to present my views and ideas. To learn to be His humble servant, I must learn to accept willfully and cheerly the joy of being ignored, rejected, and neglected. I must rule that my motives and initiatives to minister are my responses to the will and command of my Lord, and not from own desires for recognition or desires to prove my values. He humbled himself and became obedient to death-- even death on a cross! (Phi 2:7 NIV) Lesson Eleven: God Prepares: God opened my eyes to see His provision and His perfection in Myanmar. I was able to meet with a Pastor Tong who started a Training school for Chinese Preachers in Myanmar some 27 years ago. The school trained 140 Chinese preachers now working in Chinese churches all over Myanmar. I visited some of the early Catholic and Baptist churches, and was able to see His work decades ago, appreciated how He prepared His servants in those churches. Such vision places the work and the values of missionaries into the right perspectives. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph 2:10 NIV).. We are just His workmen and must it is His grace to us that we can co-work with Him in His plans for Myanmar. Lesson Twelve: Bear Fruits of the Spirit: I took several pictures in Myanmar and was surprised by my own portrait. Never Had I looked relaxed, easy-going, peaceful and pleasant with good smiles on my face. I checked my previous photos, from which I found myself nervous and serious. There was not any smile on my face. I asked myself how come I had such relaxed smiling face. I reasoned that in Myanmar, I was totally rely on God’s provisions, trusting that He would take great care of my daily breads, and the Holly Spirit was with me all the way. I felt from inside me that my life bear fruits of the Spirit: that my life was filled with love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and Selfcontrol (Gal 5:22 NKJ) because the Holy Spirit was dwelling inside me. This was a fulfilling and pleasant experience. SUMMARY I would like to summarize my two month missionary experience in Myanmar in the following two statements: (1) His Way Is Perfect: He showed me His wonders, His greatness, power, and majesty in His kingdom in Myanmar. He showed me that His way is perfect when there seems to be no ways. He selected me to go to Myanmar. He cleared all obstacles for my whole family to join in this mission experience. He allowed me to depend on Him. He put tests before me to learn humility as I prayed for. He showed that He made our weakness strength. He loves Myanmar and He prepares His workmen. On the last of my family’s ministry, He allowed us to teach biblical English in classes, and called on the name of Jesus. He even prepared one lady student to convert to Jesus one day prior to our departure. On my leaving plane from Yangon to Singapore, He made me read and understand why Jesus asked Peter three times, “Do you love me? Feed my sheep!” God is love. He knows that I will be going to the Ark Church for Pastoral Practicum, and that I should humble myself, minister the handicapped church members there with love from Jesus. His teaching to me during the whole mission trip was so perfect. (2) I am Sinful. I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. (Gen 32:10 NIB). But God has mercy on me. Despite my repeatedly failing to humble myself in my ministries, He still loves me. He so loves me and my family that He places Jesus in our hearts, and the Holy Spirit as our comforter. He renewed my life, pricked my hearts. Lessons I learnt during the trip will be my life lessons that I will never forget. Augustine Chow
Sept 2009 6月22日 Study JournalJune 21, 2009 Sunny then Heavy Raining in the Afternoon Lesson One: Rely On God for Daily Needs This morning when I was studying bible, the message came to me that God has been so Nice to me. And this was my first time to totally rely on God’s provision. When I am in HK, I have this feeling that I could control my destiny. I know where to go, where to buy, when to do certain things. Right here, I have to totally rely on God. And He has sent his servants to prepare for me, take me meals, showed me the places. I rely on them where to go, to buy, when to sleep, and what to do. For the first time, I realized how wonderful it was when you were totally relying on God’s provision of daily needs. Lesson Two: God, Why are We Born Poor? In one of our study meeting with a local student, we were asked why was God not fair. He was born here in country M, and in poor family, while some were born in more rich family. This is his real concern. This was a striking question to me. How would you answer that? Lesson Three: Total Ministry Here, I learnt what is meant by total surrender and total ministry. We started the day with private spiritual study, then the team gathered together for a 45 min worship, praying, and bible sharing. Then we start our teaching work. In lunch time, the Boys had a fasting and praying. After that, the whole team had a prayer meeting till 3:30pm. For the rest of the day, we went back to our own flats, and do our own bible study. The whole day was submitted to Him, and for his blessing. This is a God-centerd day. Today we don't have electricity until 11 pm. I cooked my first meal - chicken leg noodles with fried vegetables. This is my first cooking after 30 years. Got to remember this.
Augustine 22/6/2009 10.15
6月12日 An Answer From MomOne of our brotherens from the Couple Fellowship sent me a ppt with beautiful painting of Zhang Da Qin, narrated with an answer from a mom on this question from his child:
"Mom, why does my academic results always fall behind my classmates?" He ranked no 21 when his friend ranked No 1.
The mom kept silence for a few years on this question, and finally she took her child to the sea and told her child a story of birds that "some birds learn flying fast but cannot fly afar. Some birds learn flying slowly but they can fly long distance for his life." The child then grew up always as the no 1 in class in the long term.
I wrote this answer as reply:
Quote
Dear Brotheren:
Thank you for the sharing. The painting are eye-opening. They are astonishingly good.
I happened to coming across similar questions, as my son is now at this stage, as posted in the ppt.
There could be many answers to the questions:
A Bad Answer - Son, you are not doing as good. You are not making as much efforts as your classmates. You should try harder.
A Good Answer - Son, you are good. And I can see you are making progress. And I appreciate it. No matter how good and bad your academic results, as long as you made your best efforts, you are my good son.
A Wise Answer - Son, you are most talented. For someone talented as you are, it will take you many practices to start, but once started, you will fly long and afar than others. Focus on what are important to you in your life. Make every efforts toward them. My Answer - Son, enjoy your seemingly weakness relative to others. In God, your weaknesses are lessons that God wants you to learn in your younger days so that you will be strong in the eyes of God. God created people with different gifts. Some are good at academics, some are good at arts. Some care about others, and some need care from others. Find out what the gifts God has given you, and unwrap them with delight and surprises, as if you are unwrapping the Christian presents under the Christmas trees.. This will be the most enjoyable parts of your life. Every seemingly weakness is a gift of God. So enjoy your weakness. Unwrap your gifts from God.
Son, there are some more fundamental meanings for your weaknesses too. The purpose of your life is not to seek wisdom, God created you and me with a purpose. The value of our life is not from our achievements, wisdom, wealth, and family as seen from the viewpoints of others. In God's eyes, you are as good as anyone, as long as you walk in the wishes and purposes of God who created you. Fear God. Live and walk with God. And He will care about you throughout your life.
Son, never forget that man is created from ashes from the ground, and will return into ashes to the ground. The passage you and I are going to create in this life journey ultimately is to glorify God.
Therefore, there is one most important thing I want you to learn in your younger days. This is far more important to your academics in school. And that is:
LEARN TO FEAR GOD. TRUST HIM. DEPEND ON HIM. IN GOOD TIMES AND BAD TIMES. IN STRENGTHS AND IN WEAKNESSES. IN DANGER AND IN SAFETY. IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. IN EVERYTHING YOU DO. For In God, He will make your weaknesses strengths, and He will penalize your pride, when you are relying on your own wisdom but not His words in life.
Read proverb: Pro 2:2 側耳聽智慧，專心求聰明， Pro 2:3 呼求明哲，揚聲求聰明， Pro 2:4 尋找他，如尋找銀子，搜求他，如搜求隱藏的珍寶， Pro 2:5 你就明白敬畏耶和華，得以認識神。 Pro 2:6 因為，耶和華賜人智慧；知識和聰明都由他口而出。 Pro 2:7 他給正直人存留真智慧，給行為純正的人作盾牌， Pro 2:8 為要保守公平人的路，護庇虔敬人的道。 Pro 2:9 你也必明白仁義、公平、正直、一切的善道。 Pro 2:10 智慧必入你心；你的靈要以知識為美。 Pro 2:11 謀略必護衛你；聰明必保守你， Pro 2:12 要救你脫離惡道（或作：惡人的道），脫離說乖謬話的人。
Read Ecclesiastes
Ecc 11:2 你要分給七人，或分給八人，因為你不知道將來有什麼災禍臨到地上。 Ecc 11:3 雲若滿了雨，就必傾倒在地上。樹若向南倒，或向北倒，樹倒在何處，就存在何處。 Ecc 11:4 看風的，必不撒種；望雲的，必不收割。 Ecc 11:5 風從何道來，骨頭在懷孕婦人的胎中如何長成，你尚且不得知道；這樣，行萬事之神的作為，你更不得知道。 Ecc 11:6 早晨要撒你的種，晚上也不要歇你的手，因為你不知道哪一樣發旺；或是早撒的，或是晚撒的，或是兩樣都好。 Ecc 11:7 光本是佳美的，眼見日光也是可悅的。 Ecc 11:8 人活多年，就當快樂多年；然而也當想到黑暗的日子。因為這日子必多，所要來的都是虛空。 Ecc 11:9 少年人哪，你在幼年時當快樂。在幼年的日子，使你的心歡暢，行你心所願行的，看你眼所愛看的；卻要知道，為這一切的事，神必審問你。 Ecc 11:10 所以，你當從心中除掉愁煩，從肉體克去邪惡；因為一生的開端和幼年之時，都是虛空的。
Ecc 12:12 我兒，還有一層，你當受勸戒：著書多，沒有窮盡；讀書多，身體疲倦。 Ecc 12:13 這些事都已聽見了，總意就是：敬畏神，謹守他的誡命，這是人所當盡的本分（或作：這是眾人的本分）。 Ecc 12:14 因為人所做的事，連一切隱藏的事，無論是善是惡，神都必審問。
Unquote Augustine
11 June 2009 7:15 pm 6月9日 為詩班伙伴 Eddie 父親在 ICU 危難中的禱告詩班伙伴 Eddie 的代禱要求:
Thank you for all your praying. My Dad was transferred to the Operation Theatre at 10:15am and finally released at 7:00pm. Thank you Lord. The operation is successful. After such a big operation, my Dad need to be observed in the ICU for two days. If everything is fine, he will move back to the ward. This coming days will be critical for my dad, see whether there is any side effect (symptom) from this big operation, please continue to pray for him. 回應的禱文
Praise the Lord.
Psa 68:19 天天背負我們重擔的主，就是拯救我們的神，是應當稱頌的！（細拉） Psa 68:20 神是為我們施行諸般救恩的神；Eddie 的父親能脫離死亡是在乎主耶和華。
Psa 69:13 但 Eddie 在悅納的時候向你耶和華祈禱。神啊，求你按你豐盛的慈愛，憑你拯救的誠實應允 Eddie！ Psa 69:14 求你搭救 Eddie 出離淤泥，不叫 Eddie 陷在其中；求你使 Eddie 脫離那些恨我的人，使 Eddie 出離深水。 Psa 69:15 求你不容大水漫過 Eddie 的父親，不容深淵吞滅 Eddie 的父親，不容坑坎在Eddie 的父親以上合口。 Psa 69:16 耶和華啊，求你應允Eddie！因為你的慈愛本為美好；求你按你豐盛的慈悲回轉眷顧Eddie！ Psa 69:17 不要掩面不顧你的僕人；Eddie 是在急難之中，求你速速的應允Eddie！ Psa 69:18 求你親近Eddie 的父親，救贖Eddie 的父親！求你因Eddie 的仇敵把Eddie 的父親贖回！
Augustine 6-9-2009 12:00 midnight 5月18日 一封回复摯愛同窗的信
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上主知道你的為難和擔心，他一定与你同在，以恩待你。
你媽還年輕，(即使她是60+，當生命有盼望之時人就會年輕) 會。我外母86+，上月四次進出医院，還說要多活十多年看孫几結婚生仔。有什么可挑旺妳母親求生意志呢? 是子孫嗎? 是未完成心愿嗎? 能治療总比不治療好。 治療的痛是已知的、是可承受的，是家人可支持鼓勵的。不接受治療的痛，只能自己承受。
我外母的求生意志，是家人因她的病比平時更多時間陪伴她，讓感覺被重視、生命有价值、而明顯有所改變。我們發動所有人為她禱告，在她面前為她開聲祈禱，引導她也一句跟一句開聲祈禱，在主及眾人愛裡她被醫治。她還要說信耶穌呢! 妳母親情況也可以因愛而改变嗎? 誰的愛對她最重要? 她平時最關心的人除了你還有誰呢? 她最關心的人可以怎樣支持她呢?
你陪伴她到東京完成了她一次心愿，這很重要。如可以帶同她喜歡的子孫同去更好。老人家在子孫面前，永遠能感到自己的重要。願神堅固你的愛念，使你所講所做的，充份表示你對她的愛心和支持。完成一次愛的連結，愛的旅程。如她不反對，可沿途開声為她禱告代求，也讓圣灵為她代求，領受祈禱的力量。
多言了。作為你的生命成長的禱伴同工，深感你的擔心，就是我們眾人的擔心。一定會在每天禱告中記念你。
神讓我們有此經歷，必有深恩美意。承載親人傷痛憂患，是神給我們的属灵操練，這也是我們成長的時候。
主祝福你!
Unquote Augustine 5-18-2009 12:50 pm 5月16日 A Prayer During the Period of Examination
“Oh, Gracious God
Please accept our prayers to you….
We pray to you to give us a pure and humble heart, for us to realize we are nothing. We can’t walk, we can’t sleep, we can’t learn, we can’t even live one more day on earth without your grace.
God, we beg you to open our eyes, lift up our souls, warm our hearts, and turn our focus not on our needs, but on the needed whom you brought to us for our attention and care in our M Div studies. We are sure you have a purpose for everything we experience in our M Div study. We submit ourselves to your plan, your teaching, and the life-encounters you brought before us.
God, help us in our faith to you. Dip me into your ocean of love, so that we can love. Shock us with our impotency, so that we realize we need to depend on you in everything we think, we feel, and we do. Speak to us when we feel lonely and restless. Teach us on the skills and knowledge we need to build in our M Div study so that we won’t appear to be naïve and ignorant when we preach your words to others. Touch our hearts so that can touch the hearts of others with your words.
God, during this period of exam, beg you for our physical fitness, intelligently readiness to hear your Words, and our humble and submissive acceptance your teaching when we prepare our answers to the research papers and examinations.
God… If we can learn, or if we cannot learn, if we can produce good answers to exam paper, or if we cannot produce good answers to the exam papers, if we feel empowered, or if we are shamed and frightened….
God, help us full submit our true bodies and souls to you. Turn us to you for comfort, and for joy. As we true believe the source of comfort and joy is from you. God you are our help. You are our destiny.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”
Augustine 16 May 2009 2 pm 5月10日 A Reply to How to Make the Best From Your Life
A member of my Christian Fellowship who seemed to have been amazed by the so many things I can cope with simultanesouly wrote to me for explanation. The following was my email answer.... ---------------------------------------------------------
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Thank you for your caring words. You asked how come I was able to do so many things in life? This is a good question.
In fact God is fair to everyone. Everyone has 24 hours a day, and 365 days a year, no more, no less. I do have some secret belief in life that motivates me to walk the extra miles, take up the next task….
1) I take every day is my last day in life, so I won’t miss anything important and regret. To say thank to the one you want to thank, to meet the ones you want to greet, to do things you want to do so that you will not regret as if this were your last day in life.
2) I take every day is a new beginning in life, so that I will not carry any luggage of my past. I feel easy, enthusiastic, and excited for the next tasks and events in life. I will strive to do exciting things in life.
3) Every night, I review my day in life, reflecting what I learnt and understood from the fate of life. Adjust the attitude, and ways of doing things in life;
4) In every moment of time I am waiting such as waiting for my MTR train, sitting in a bus, ready to eat my meals, etc, I pray and thank God for the guidance and direction in my life.
From these I feel the grace of God in my daily life, feel charged for the work I need to do for Him to reciprocate his grace to me. I give everything to His hands, trusting what I am going to experience (no matter in pain, in sickness, or in happiness) will be the best suitable for me.
Raymond, ask what grace God has given you from your birth to this dates. Life is too short for disagreement. Life is too short for complaints. God has given you a marriage and some children. It is a treasure in life. Choose to live in an appreciating life looking at the positives from your marriage and your encounters. Choose to live in a shared life with your spouse as your faithful companion in life.
Accept the shortcomings of yourself and your spouse as her beauty. Choose to live a life of no regrets.
Do everything possible when you have the breath to do so. Thank your spouse. Express your love to your children. Pray God for a new and beautiful day of life everyday.
Augustine May 10, 2009
Quote 5月5日 回應一位面对家人病患的同学一位同學的母親面对腫瘤的威脅。求主纪念他的需要，让我与他共同经历，一起面对，求主憐悯。
来函分享
「多謝各位近日的問候、關心、支持和代禱。今天和媽媽一起見肝膽外科醫生後，對她的病情知多一點點。首先已確診她的肝有一個約7厘米大的腫瘤(屬擴散類的腫瘤,腫瘤科醫生說是第四期) ,另淋巴腺約有一個2毫米大的不知明的東西,有可能是腫瘤,可能要進一步化驗。
前兩星期,媽媽的心情是非惡劣,感恩的是她現在較穩定,只是我們現在不知如何面對治療方法,原因是腫瘤科和肝膽科有不同的意見,昨天腫瘤科建議不做任何手術,只做十二次,每兩星期三天住院24小時吊針化療,為期約半年(可怕),只是這種治療屬於舒緩作用,非能徹底醫治。今天肝膽外科卻建議先抽取淋巴的內不明的東西,確診後後再切除肝腫瘤,最後才化療。現已排期抽取淋巴內的不知明東西的組織,兩星內便得知可日進行手術。
兩邊醫生的建議令我們感到非常困惑,一是媽媽懼怕化療的副作用,畢竟十年前已做了一次化療和電療,去年又切除直腸腫瘤,這次又再化療,對她來說是滿有壓力和幸苦,第二又怕做任何手術會否加速癌症擴散,這亦是我所顧慮的。當然還有一個方法就是順其自然,不過這實在最難決定的事。
請各位為我們有一個較好的決定,並求醫生們最後有一致的決定,以免媽媽受更多的苦。」
诚心回應:
Lord, may you reveal your will with her and her family in facing this critical decision. May you remove the pain from her body, strengthen her soul, give her a faithful will to seek proper medical treatments under your guidance. May we live in and for your glory, in life and death. Lord, may you give solidarity within the family, humility to co-walk with you, faith that the whole family is in your caring and strong hands.
Lord, may you give us fraternity. Let us be his prayer partners; let us listen attentively and passionately to his sufferings. Let us share the same sufferings with him as if his mother is our mother, and face it together with him. On this fighting journey, help us stay beside him and accessible to him, because in this narrow road, he is our co-journey traveler parnter, from now and till the many ministry years to come. In Christ, amen.
Augustine 10.25pm 5-5-2009
4月29日 如何榮耀神的名?在准备中史作业，讀到” 日內瓦＜信仰問題>如何榮耀神的名?”
加尓文答:” 关鍵在於信心、順服、仰望、追求神所希望的，並認定一切皆是祂的供應:「全然信任衪，一生順服於衪的旨意事奉衪，於一切所需要的都仰望衪，寻求救恩和一切衪喜悅的東西。最後是要在心中和咀唇都認定衪是一切祝福的賜與者。」
要在未來四周考試交功課報告事件上榮耀衪? 这是最清楚不过的答案！分享之
Augustine 4/29/2009 2.28am 4月20日 Feedback on Spoon FeedingHi, Fellow Students
Thank you for sharing the minutes of the joint Faculty-Student Program Review meeting, and the survery findings. In general, the findings and the description do reflects our feeling and learning from the teaching programs.... I felt more needed to be said about our program, and particularly on the comment of spoon feeding.... May I elaborate it here as my true feedback ... 1) Someone told me about the story... A duck, a rabbit, and an eagle,were recruited for a training program, in which the duck was taught how to run, and the rabbit was taught how to swim, and the eagle taught how to crawl. It was such a comprehensive program aiming to equip the recruiters all the skills to survivalship in the future. As a result of the program, none of the animal has any strengths any more. They lost confidence in what they were supposed to do best to fit into this all-rounded program. Are we in such all rounded program with all good intention? Was there any tailored training to the individual so that the eagle can fly better, faster, higher and the duck can swim better faster catching more fish? Having heard this story, I reasoned that the M Div program is supposed to be an all-rounded program aiming not so much to train specialist or specially talented persons, but to teach them the lesson that all the strengths he or she has are from God. Depend on God, rather than his/her already aquired skills to face the work of the God ahead of them. For this reason, I think the current progam is pusing us to our limits, so that we know what are our limits and receive faith from God to develop/ face our weaknesses. In this sense, it is good for us. (2) On another account of the same story, was there adequate freedom and discretion given in the current curriculem design so that we can take the electives we want, do the research that attracted us, spend more time in one theologian's thinking, dig a little deeper in certain aspects of thoughts, discuss among ourselves from freely things that surrounds us with our learning from school? Probably not. Has there been adequate discussion among ourselves on new theological concepts learnt? implication to our lives and churches? Develop the abiility to comprehen what are happening ourside in our community and in our churches, and be able to response sensibly to those issues? Probably not! Is the Student Union leading us to pay attention not to our own needs but the needs of the community? Probably Not ! We are given several good books to read. Yes they are good. But they absorb all our energy and time. Were we draw to read articles in journals that discusses the current issues in theology and develop our ability to appreciate and critique them as we were in other Master Level programs? Probably not! In other academic training program, master level students are trained to be critical, critical to the authority, and critical to then truth as reflected and understood by then academicians. In theology, we are trained to be submissive, to be obedient to the auithority. Who and how can we give rise to a Luther or Malenchthon in the medieval church in Wittenburg? Our Dean always reminds us we are trained to theologians. Do'n't look down upon us, in the challenge of truth. (3) Having all said, I do feel that there are other non spoon feeding measures we can introduce to enrich the program of studies... for example... a) Allow some discretionary paper to research into an area of interest as alternative to exam. This was implemented in Medieval Church, Missionary, and Theology 2 course, which is good. b) Host seminars / debate among Senior, junior students to debate a theology and practical issues facing our churches and community. This could be done by formal or informal special interest groups within the stiudent union body, just as Sports groups are organized; c) allow a 15 min Q and A in each morning session after 10:30 for those who interested to stay behind for more discussion with the speaker or among the students themselves; d) Host putonghua day on every Friday to encourage awareness of our students in China Church needs... When a duck encounters God in its swimming and non-swimming activities, when an eagle stops flying and think what else it needs to learn... wouldn't the duck or the eagle be blessed for who they are even when they cannot run or cannot crawl? This is not to be critical... but just want to wirte down my feelings in this middle of exam period. Anyone tired of reading comment here?
Augustine 20-4-2009
4月19日 接納別人的幫助Ying Ying
接納別人的幫助是強者的表現. 因為相信自己將來必能回報及償還. 不一定是對曾幫助自己的人回報,但相信一定會在將來自己有能力時候,回報其他有需要的人.
我在去美國留學的時候, 接受過一個機構一張去美國的飛機票, 在美國的時候有一個 Host Family 提供家庭照顧，這些人和機構， 我現在都無法回報，但我可以幫助其他留學生在港學習，也可资助國內不認識的學生學費．
幫助人是一個 chain. You never know you are on the giving side or the receiving side. Please accept the blessing from others, believing that you are strong enough to return the blessings to others who need it in the future.
When I was in my most despair studying Greek II Intensive, Uncle Sam of our CGST Canteen said to me, “A lot of people in the future will benefit from your blessings.” Then I realize my responsibility to get blessed so that I can bless others.
The responsibility is there. Accept it nobly, Ying Ying.
Augusitne 4-19-2009 5pm 4月17日 一篇凌晨五點的禱告一篇凌晨五點的禱告
我們在天上的父，救贖的耶穌，感動的聖靈，我感謝你。
在此學期中，功課壓力的高峰期間，我們更要仰望你。你是我們的高臺，你是我們的避難所，你是我們的力量。你是智慧的泉源，你是我們學習的依靠。你與我們同在，使我們充滿力氣。你對我們的啟發，是我們唯一覺悟。我們所有的好處，不在你以外。
主，我們感謝你。你容許我們在你面前歎息。你聆聽我們的申訴。你帶領我們在這天國的窄路上前進。面對那永不止息的功課，我們疲累了。我們感到挫敗了。面對家庭、事奉、功課抉擇，我們掙扎，我們反抗，我們枯乾了。我們家人中，有面對面死亡的，有重病的，有初生的，存抑鬱孤苦的，主啊！你都知道。我們的掙扎，你都看顧。
主，我們向你求一謙卑的清心，讓我們單單定睛仰望你。讓我們先求你的國你的義，再求自己的需要。
多謝你賜我們憂患，使我們能安慰；賜我們挫敗，使我們得享死裡復活的滋味；賜我們掙紮，使我磨練信心依靠；賜我們疲累，使我們面對載負的極限；賜我們知道不足，所以我們能追求完備；賜我們傷痛憂患的家人，使我們學習載負別人的需要，體會他人的感受。你賜給我們反叛的子女，是在提醒我們一樣的反叛，而子女不再是我們能操控，能要求的對象。他們是耶和華你的產業，是我們成長路上的朋友。當我們為自己的需要而求，為自己的苦毒向你申訴時，你溫柔的手再次觸動我們心靈，告訴我們這一切的苦毒，都是你陶造我們的功課。
主，求你賜下謙卑，使我們不求自己的需要，而只求你旨意的成就。求你讓我們成長、改變、學習、領受你賜給我們每人不一樣的功課。
在這生命力課面前，讓我們謙卑，信靠，喜樂，在軟弱中變得剛強壯膽，迎難向上，喜樂地面對自己不足，樂意地接受成長路上的挫敗。溫柔的面對家人的哀傷，以你的大愛去面對傷痛。在臉上，在氣息上，在別人面前，永遠流露你的良善、尊榮。奉主名求，啊們。
志堅 17-4-2009 淩晨5.21am 4月12日 未得之民 - 我的首次城市宣教事奉未得之民 - 我的首次城市宣教事奉 周志堅 11/4/2009
這是我第一次入監獄，參與堅浸為石壁監獄每年一次復活節探訪活動。
面前是一隊監獄樂隊，聞說是由甲組重犯組成。甲組是因為刑期超過十二年，因表現良好，被福利官推薦入監獄樂隊，作為獎品。樂隊有八名成員，兩個結他手、兩個琴手、一個鼓手、一個歌手、兩位混音師。大部份成員己在監獄洗禮信主。
這是一次近距離接觸。眾人好像見到老朋友一般，熱情地寒喧。原來這類活動，一年一次，而他們又是監獄團契成員，一個月探望一次，與堅浸教友同領聖餐，己建立了友誼。今天是復活節假期，囚友放假分組活動，可自由要求參加。
為了擴闊視野，在復活節繁重的功課壓力下，我仍然報名參加監獄事工。為了這次探訪，為數近三十名監獄事工教友編排話劇、多次綵排歌舞話劇，為的是在復活節假期內，安排兩天四場演出及短講，宣講基督之愛。成員是參與監獄事奉、經常到不同監獄探訪、查經、表演的多年教友，有男有女，有老有少，包括尚在讀書的學生，退休七十多嵗的婆婆，的士司機、都是熱心人士。我被委派擔任歌手領唱，其他人做話劇、帶遊戲，跳集體舞，每一個參加者都有任務。
我從來沒有接觸過囚友。終於有數十位囚友到達會場。聞說有些是各在工作部門的代表，由長官點名參加，有些是不打球、不看電視電影，自願參加。以前假期集體一同必須參加，近年改為自願參加。我們在上鎖的體育館內由有長官及福利官陪同下自由接觸，自由交往。
在我想像中的囚友，是有黑社會形像的，較粗豪的。但眼前的囚友，雖然身穿褐色長袖長褲囚衣，拖鞋，但大部份斯文，四分一人戴眼鏡，在外面遇上，不會想到他們曾服刑。據悉他們是乙組囚友，刑期在六至十二年。一些是舊朋友，每年參與，一些是新參加。開始時相當拘謹，撟手而坐，不太投入，後來放開了，互推出來唱K, 玩遊戲。台語版”愛拼才會嬴” 是必選之歌。今年更有印巴、菲裔囚友參加。
據文師母憶述，堅道浸信會本好隣舍精神，十多年前由文牧師帶領訪問羈留中心，提供洗衣機、奶粉、探訪照顧當導的越南難民，偷渡懷胎婦人，是最早期接觸監獄，提供關顧探望。後來演變成定期探訪，舉辦節期娛樂節目，接觸囚友，監獄團契、教會囚友查經班、慢慢在監獄成立教會，施浸、牧養、關顧、辦釋囚支援、教友守望，為未得之民，帶來福音盼望。
今年復活節，我們話劇、獻唱的主題是原諒覺恕，由一個傷人害己的女主角遭遇，帶出寬恕自己，接納自己，尋求受害人寬恕，帶出慈父接納浪子故事訊息，主耶穌寬恕浪子，失而復得之無條件的接納和寬恕。出人意表的，上下午兩場表演，有十個人舉手決志，由教牧跟進。
我暗地仔細觀察囚友觀眾的父應，雖然他們在陌生人前並不多言，但之間有同聲同氣的友誼。我不能瞭解他們的內心。雖然我們的演出未必起到什麼影響和作用，但有一位囚友唱完K後和我們說了一聲謝謝。他們對一些教會朋友為了演出而努力及長年定期探望，相信還是欣賞的。而我則對每位出席朋友以歌聲、以眼神表關注，送上來自上帝的祝福。
全場中，我留意到監獄樂隊每個成員由內心發出的笑容，由衷服侍他們的囚友，並為我們唱出他們了洗禮時自作重生得救、因信稱義的新歌。他們的笑聲與平安，一直在我內心流連。在這裡，我又看見上帝的作為，和衪該得的榮耀。
宣教是生命的見証，以達至萬國萬民敬拜三一真神，得救重生的大使命。未得之民是世界容易被遺忘，難於接觸福音的人。
在這三百多人、高度設防的監獄裡，未得之民之中，親眼我看到了共人性，親口唱出基督的寬恕，親身感覺基督使人復活的生命改變，親眼看到上帝的形像和樣式在囚友身上彰顧，親耳聽到囚友回應神呼召，和同等的被聆聽被接納的的專嚴，活在不同世界的同性異性人真心人性交往，善良的囚友超越性別年歲國籍的友誼，明白到口傳福音的作用及局限，牧師師母多年默默工作，身傳福音的祝福，見証神福音的大能。
他們刻板生活中展現燦爛爽朗的笑容，在生命更新過程中渴求支援聆聽。這是一種生命的相連，在基督滿溢的愛下的連結。
我震懾伏俯在上帝大能大力下，默然無語。有夥伴問我還要不要來。我肯定的說:” 一定要”。
3月27日 Prayer for Ying YingYing Ying
Counting the days, you will be landing into Hong Kong with your brother in 2 more days. We miss you, and you are always in our prayers.
I just finished reading the Qaf forms for tomorrow’s Hebrew quiz. Quite exhausted really, but after a bath, I feel revitalized, and prayed for you and your family, then writing my thoughts that linger in my mind lately.
Life must be tough in your side. Taking your brother back by plane is by no means an easy task. The physical weakness, the luggage, the transportation, the admin, the relocation, and most bitterly the emotions of saying goodbye to the study land and re-orienting to the battle against sickness and fate. It is too much a burden even for me to take.
But you shouldered them. I was pleased to note that you submitted your papers and reports due before you departed. It takes extra determination, and extra hard work to keep the pace of study, given this hill-like burden on you and your family. So you will be getting your brother admittance to Shatin Wales Hospital and continue the treatment. That’s a lot of progress you made.
Oh, during our last visit to Tian Shui Wai Church, I met a lady who suffered from the same disease of your brother. She just gone through the chemical treatment and surgery and still looks healthy. She can still go to the church for worship. She is aware of the grace on her. (She is a non-believer). If we watch carefully, there is always grace around us. Just hang in there. Have faith.
I do have a few praying items and need the prayers of our fellow-students’ support too.
1) My mother-in-law was in hospital twice in 2 weeks. She is recovering now but still a non-believer. I pray for her conviction, and for her health so that my wife and I can go on with our summer mission to Myanmar without the guilt of leaving her alone in HK. She is 86+.
2) I was torn between papers, my studying, and my passion for voluntary work. Yet, I am re-affirmed daily God is renewing me through my extra-curriculum activities. I am praying for God’s guidance before I commit to volunteering work for the next two years in one of the 4 areas which I now am receiving training with my passion: (1) Monthly Prison Visits, (2) Late Stage Cancer Patient Caring and Home Visits through Lazalo ministry, (3) Weekly Fellowship with SME owners through the Oaks, or (4) ministry in the CGST Student Union. I cannot do all of them, and need guidance from God to chart my ministerial direction.
I pray to God for his blessing and providence in shaping me through my co-working with him and for him during my two years of study in CGST.
I want to share this prayer need with you because I believe your prayers will be heard, just as much as your prayers are being listened as you support the needs of your family firmly these days.
We believe you are faithful. We believe God is with you, and your prayers carry strength.
We look forward to welcoming you back to school. If there is anything we can help, shout.
Augustine 20 March 2009
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